I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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