Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
