She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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