have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
