Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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