so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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