Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
