is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He did a backflip because drugs
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