My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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