I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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