dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
