I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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