i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I got chris browned last night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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