Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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