Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
there is puke in my bra ... again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
