I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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