Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's just like the Real World with babies
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
