if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
