dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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