After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
