people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
