You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
