i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
