youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
