She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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