Tell her she can't have a vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
be right there i have to get my cape
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
