so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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