im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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