I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
