Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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