I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Are my feet made of real feet?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
