Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
