I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
