i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
