This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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