Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize