that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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