He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
