if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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