Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
