see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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