Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize