I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
