so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
