Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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