id be glad to
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
