she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
