living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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