so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
