Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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