we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize