we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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