I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize