dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
