The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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