we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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