I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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