Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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