i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
