And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have fence marks all over my body
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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