please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
