You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
